Learning To Love Yourself

As a 27 year old woman of the world, I am a big lover of social media. Instagram is by far my most used however Facebook is a close second.

Like most, I follow the lives of celebrities, fitness trainers, food/diet pages and social media influencers and at times it can be fairly overwhelming. I mean how is little ole me from a small seaside Town supposed to "Keep Up" or compare to the likes of the Kardashian/Jenner's???

From about 16 I have always had body confidence issues. I've been the "chubby kid", I've been "too skinny" and I've been everything else in between!

I am not afraid to admit that I have struggled enormously with Anxiety over the last 3/4 years. 

For a long time I tried my hardest to get by on my own without opening up to anyone about how I was feeling. I was so scared of what people would think that I became a complete closed book. I would shut people out and push those closest to me away. On the inside I was crying out for someone to reach out to me but on the outside I was getting better at putting on a brave face and portraying the images/best bits of my life I wanted people to see.

I hit rock bottom....And I'm not ashamed to say that after many Doctor's appointments, I was referred to the Mental Health charity 'WellBeing' to get the support I needed.

My Mental Health always used to go hand in hand with my weight and body issues...The more I struggled with day-to-day life, the more I saw my weight plummet on the scales and the happier it made me (or so I thought!) yet the more I found myself in control of my Stress Levels and Anxiety the more I would see the scales creep up again and the more self conscious I became. It was like a vicious cycle I could never seem to break! 😖

To say the changes to my body throughout my pregnancy has been tough is an understatement. I've had my down days where I'd cry into my pillow after catching a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror but with the love and support of my Other Half I'm also learning to ignore the numbers on the scales, ignore the new chins I have inherited (😭😂😭😂✌🏻) and look at the bigger picture....

I AM CARRYING A TINY HUMAN!!!!!
OUR OWN MINI HUMAN!!!!!

To me, being pregnant has been a blessing in more ways than I could have ever imagined. Not only am I carrying the best thing to ever happen to us but she is also allowing me to love myself all over again and see the world at a different angle 💗

I am under no illusion that after giving birth I will experience further body changes. I am not expecting to "snap back" to my pre-pregnancy body a few weeks after giving birth (like the celebrities you see on social media) however I don't think I want to....

Pre-pregnancy Hannah - I was an unhappy, self conscious bag of bones whose life was controlled by what people thought of me, how skinny I looked in the mirror and someone who would have a mini breakdown at the thought of buying clothes above a size 6 or 8! 

38 Weeks Pregnant Hannah - Of course I still have my moments however I'm trying my hardest to enjoy this journey the best I can and laugh in the face of anyone who dares comment on my weight. So what if I've gained 3 stone, 5 chins and some seriously chubby thighs?! 😂 I'm experiencing something extremely special and life changing!

And for that reason....

NO I will NOT let this affect my pregnancy journey!!!
NO I will NOT stress over my body changes!!!
NO I will NOT think less of myself!!!

YES I WILL have a second helping of Dinner!!! 
YES I would LOVE that piece of triple Chocolate Fudge Cake!!!
YES I AM going to order a Takeaway even though I probably shouldn't!!!

🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈

Of course over indulging on junk food is by no means what I'm telling you all to do however the occasional naughty treat never hurt anyone and if you can't do that when you're heavily pregnant when the hell can you?!?! ✌🏻✌🏼✌🏽✌🏾

And as for my post pregnancy body? I will just be learning to love my wobbly bits and not stress myself into crazy diets and losing weight fast!!! For I will have far more important things to worry about....👶🏻🍼

P.S
To my future Daughter....
Mummy would like to thank you for changing her life for the better and blessing her with the greatest reason to live life to the full! I am determined to be the best role model to you I can be and to show you that there is more to life than being "skinny" - A kind heart and soul goes so much further than a few "likes" on social media ever will 😘